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There is an old saying, "It's not what you say, it's the way that you say it" and, like many old things, it has become hackneyed and overlooked with time, but paying attention to the above adage is a huge factor in our success in communicating with each other, in all aspects of life...
Up to 93% of our communication is non-verbal, yep, you read that right. Below is the breakdown for those that like figures:
Our communication consists of approximately
We are trained in what we say, but rarely trained in how we say it. Thinking about how we say what we say, and reading others’ non-verbals for clues on their thoughts and intentions, gives us an extra insight - a great tool to have in your kit bag as a professional, giving you that edge. Apart from this, it can be rather fun, putting you in the driving seat when you are in the hot seat!
For example, if you find yourself called as expert witness in court, your whole presentation relies on your credibility. How you give your evidence is extremely important, bearing in mind the above figures. So how do you defend the report that you have been up all night, for several nights, writing? Or indeed how do you present yourself as an expert with gravitas?
The first point I teach, in my body language seminars and classes, is to find your neutral spot. It's the spot where physically we are relaxed, confident but neutral. It is a powerful position because it enables you to calm the limbic system and to react with time for thought.
A neutral stance is one where, if standing, the weight is evenly distributed on both feet, the arms are loosely by sides and head is on the level plane; if sitting, the weight is still evenly distributed and hands come to rest on mid-thigh or, if behind a desk, hands are visible, unclenched and still, head on the level plane.
These are incredibly hard postures to maintain if we are stressed, as the limbic brain will hijack us, we will see weight transference - shifting from foot to foot, fidgeting or pacifying behaviour (more on that later), as nervous energy is released. The overall impression given is someone lacking credibility.
If adopting a neutral stance calms the limbic system then "power poses" turbo charge it - as was proved in a Harvard Business School study by Professor Amy Cuddy. She made waves, and indeed a career, out of her TED Talk on power poses (https://www.ted.com/ speakers/amy_cuddy).
Again for those who like statistics, a power pose increases testosterone, the "leadership hormone" by up to 20% and lowers cortisol, the stress hormone, by around the same amount, powerful indeed! I use these frequently as an actor on those days when I simply don't "feel it". Putting my face and body into the requisite expressions and poses has an instant effect on my brain chemistry and voila! I am suddenly genuinely overjoyed or devastated, as the script dictates!
These are important behaviours to look out for in yourself, not only when being interviewed or cross-examined, but also when you are doing the interviewing. For example, say you are about to take on a claimant who professes certain after effects of a given injury and you want to check their authenticity... Though it must be said, no one can be a human lie detector, we can use a method that establishes"baseline" behaviour.
We do this by asking a series of innocuous questions where the answers are already known, i.e. name, address, what they do for a living, the weather today etc. By focusing on the potential client's body language, one can establish what is normal for them - what their baseline behaviour is, what tics do they have, do they blink rapidly, do they gaze middle distance when thinking or do they twirl a piece of hair? If this is their usual behaviour, then anything deviating from this when asking the more probing questions, will warrant more investigation on your behalf. As in all of body language, look for context. Also take into consideration gender, culture, and age differences. For example, eye contact for a few seconds with someone signals interest of some kind in Western culture, but in some Asian cultures this same level of eye contact can be considered rude... so do your homework.
When stressed, we see the above-mentioned pacifying behaviours apparent. I'm including fear, anxiety, nervousness and anger when I say stressed, the behaviours include, but are by no means limited to: stroking the back of the neck, touching the suprasternal notch, or base of the throat where the hollow is, rapid eye blinking, very slow blink (blocking), hands through hair, hair flicking, hands wiping down front of thighs - you get the picture. These occur literally to sooth or pacify ourselves when stress levels heighten.
Finally, we have voice. It is said that “a laugh or a growl says more to a human than a joke or an angry word, and we pay more attention when we hear an emotional sound than we do if someone puts the feeling into words”. We also interpret emotions much faster thanwords, within a tenth of a second.¹
Obviously this is best delivered when being demonstrated, but a couple of points to think about are tone of voice and varying the speed of delivery - both can make for engaging dialogue. Think how many times a lecture with great content has become stale when the presenter has a monotonous tone, or how an email can be misinterpreted without the human voice to emphasize and give colour and empathy to the points being made - voice really matters!
These are only some of the basics of body language, if you are intrigued to delve further, I hold private classes and am involved with various courses, and can be contacted at:
www.andreagordon.uk/body-language.html
¹. Preferential decoding of emotion from human non-linguistic vocalizations versus speech prosody. MD Pell, K Rothermich, P Liu, S Paulmann, S Sethi, S Rigoulot. Biological Psychology. Volume 111. pages 14-25 (2015)
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